Mum wax

You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.  And you can't have twins without stretching a little epidermis.  Stretch marks.  Oh dear.  They have not yet graced my tummy but in all reality,can I get away without them?  Unscathed, so to speak?

There is evidently little that can be done to prevent them.  If you get bigger faster than your skin can stretch, the under layers will tear, leaving red marks.  Yuk.  If you are an optimistic kind of person you might find it comforting to know that they will eventually fade to white or silvery coloured reminders.  

Despite it all being down to nature and body shape and luck, I am willing to put my faith in what amounts to effectively magic.  The rational me readily agrees that this is just one of those things.  Neither science nor medicine nor cosmetic giants can save you from it.  But the little voice inside, the one that gets drawn in by the hype on the Home Shopping Network, says: What if?  And, I gather from the gigantic range of highly priced products claiming to help prevent those little tears that I am not the only one off with the fairies. 

I am putting my faith in few, hopefully 'miracle' products.  It is more like voodoo than logic based on anything remotely medical.  Just before bed and just after the morning shower I religously rub in a vitamin E oil.  Then a nice layer of something that comes in a big, medical looking white tub.   It claims to save mums-to-be from the evils of stretch marks with an interesting balance of scientific-sounding compounds and magical stuff from nature.  Bound to be something in there that works, right?

Thom watches as he settles into bed with the wisdom not to say too much, except, 'Mum wax time?'  Yes, darling, it's mum wax time.  With a little prayer the mum wax gets dutifully rubbed into the bump each morning and night.  It's something of a ritual, with its own kind of holy water to ward off the effects of the growing baby-bulk.  But it remains to be seen if my faith has any foundation.  When the world is an uncertain place, blind faith offers some solace.  So for now, I'll be greasing myself up with a lot of hope and a teeny-tiny prayer.