Thursday 24 May 2012

Music and the calming of the beastie

It's 10 past 7.  Ethan has been in bed for the night for about 20 minutes.  Thom and I are relaxing to the remainder of the Wriggly Mix. The bedtime routine is about getting ready to snuggle and sleep.  We might start with a book read in soft tones, followed by a massage and then a warm bath.  Then it's clean clothes, warm milk and 'nite-nite' all 'round after which he sails off to dreamland.  All of this is set against some relaxing background music, something that really seems to help Ethan get into bedtime mode.  The Wriggly Mix is my eclectic selection of adult and children's tunes that aid the calm, sleepy vibe to get flowing.

No matter what the day has brought us, the bedtime routine is kind of like the reset button.  It starts off a chain reaction of events he has come to expect and allows him some constancy in his always changing and quickly developing world.  Plus I love it.  Getting splashed by his kicking feet at bath time and his sleepy little snuggle-monster body getting heavier and more relaxed as we progress through our schedule and I sing along to the Wriggly Mix.


I remembered Bugs Bunny saying that music tames the savage beast, and wondered how much of the music could be responsible for the relaxed little man I just put to bed.  After a little Google-ing, I discovered that music does not in fact tame the savage beast.  The phrase comes from an English play write, William Congreve, who began his work The Mourning Bride with the line 'Musik has charms to sooth the savage breast'.  The bride who mourns her dead lover goes on to say that music, usually so calming and influential of our emotions, has no effect on her grief.  So Bugs was a little unclear on 17th century literature, doesn't mean his 'Waschaly Wabbit' techniques haven't worked a charm on my lil Wriggly.   I think music has calmed my savage beastie.

For your enjoyment, Bugs misquoting Congreve's Bride and the list of songs that comprise my Wriggly Mix.







Wriggly Mix



All I Really Need (Live) 4:16 Raffi & The Rise and Shine Band
Blue Bayou 2:33 Roy Orbison
Change 3:42 Blind Melon
De Colores (Live) 2:58 Raffi & The Rise and Shine Band
Diamonds And Pearls 4:20 Prince
Earth and Water Song 6:19 Humble Pie
Everything Grows (Live) 3:12 Raffi & The Rise and Shine Band
Why Is a Fire Engine Red 1:21 Johnny Cash
Good Feeling 3:57 Violent Femmes
Grandpa (Tell Me 'Bout the Good Old Days) 4:16 The Judds
Hammer 2:57 Bob Marley
Have You Ever Seen The Rain 2:40 Creedence Clearwater Revival
Humrush 3:27 KMD
Like Me and You (Live) 3:08 Raffi & The Rise and Shine Band
You Make Me Smile 3:26 Aloe Blacc
All I Have To Do Is Dream 2:27 Roy Orbison
Mr. Brown 3:33 Bob Marley
Muted Cartoons 5:26 DJ Yoda
My Man 2:40 Billie Holiday
Near You Always 3:09 Jewel
Sweet Jane (lou Reed, Velvet Underground Cover) 6:51 Phish
Please Do Not Go 4:15 Violent Femmes
Rise and Shine (Live) 2:25 Raffi & The Rise and Shine Band
Ah Bos Cee Dah 2:33 Johnny Cash
The Sad Bag of Shaky Jake 3:02 Humble Pie
Baby Beluga (Live) 2:43 Raffi & The Rise and Shine Band
Safe From Harm 5:20 Massive Attack
Scar Tissue 3:36 Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sleepyhouse 4:29 Blind Melon
Summertime 4:56 Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Take Me Back 4:57 Humble Pie
Teardrop 5:28 Massive Attack
Tingalayo (Live) 2:58 Raffi & The Rise and Shine Band
Toys for Tots 2:33 Peggy Lee, Nat King Cole & Nancy Wilson
Yellow Ledbetter 5:03 Pearl Jam
Good Things 4:02 Aloe Blacc
Dinosaur Song 1:25 Johnny Cash

Saturday 19 May 2012

Clever little babies

It has been too long since I've sat down to write.  This grey Saturday morning finds Thom and I sipping on coffee while Ethan demonstrates the new vocal sounds he's discovered in dreams through the night.  We are happy to hear him chatting again after a spell of tummy bug briefly robbed him of his typically playful personality.  We are going to more play groups and mingling with other children so little colds and germs are probably to be expected.

Play groups are great for Ethan to see other babies and children while all the mums natter and compare notes.  I watch the kids size each other up, the mums size each other up and the way everyone falls into a little social hierarchy.  The younger babies look with awe as the older ones crawl, scoot and dominate their environment in various ways.  Ethan watches - mouth open, drool trailing down the chin - as older babies grab and manipulate the toys in ways he hasn't yet figured out.  Even older children, the toddlers, adopt a sort of sympathetic attitude towards the babies, like a memory of the frustrations endured in their own once small baby-bodies lingers.  Older ones will even protest at being treated like a baby.  How dare you treat me like a baby when I can do so much now!

Ethan being unwell this week reminded me of the wisdom of babies, something that is all to easily dismissed  in comparison to the ability-based scale generally used to measure the success of a person.  Ethan, in his week of illness, showed me his instinctual and wise way babies approach the world and how this gets forgotten.  Later, when we can get around, reach for what we want and communicate with others, we dismiss the immense wisdom of the baby.  A baby might be seen as an eating, sleeping, shitting machine who can do little more than cry and flail their little arms about.  But in Ethan and the other babies in the play group are certainly not that simple.

Babies have skills, just different ones.  Skills that would be incredibly useful if we could reclaim them in some way.  When Ethan started to come down with his tummy bug, before Thom and I knew he was unwell, he started letting us know to pay attention, something was up!  First just a little less smiley.  Then, later, unhappy at feeds, grabbing at me but unwilling to drink more than a few mouthfuls of milk.  Smart little guy was expressing what any of us would feel as a tummy bug was coming on.  Hungry but not.  Tender tummy.  A little off colour.  His instinctual baby-brain responded pretty well by telling him he needed more sleep and snuggles.  And less milk and over-energetic playtime.  He didn't have the words to speak it or the ability to take himself to the pharmacy for some Pepto, but he did do what becomes harder somehow as we get older and supposedly smarter.  I'm not near as good as listening to some of my body's signals.  Simply changing a routine or stopping something we want but we feel is bad can be the difficulties of a lifetime.

We forget the gift of instinct.  Forget the value of listening to the pull of something unexplainable.  That same instinct-driven little man also listens when he senses that someone is nice, something is fun or the most everyday and mundane to us, is fascinating to him.  Without that, any child would be uninspired to grow and develop into someone that is big enough and able enough to become a participant in the world.  If only we could hang onto a it of that baby-style approach as we do.