If God was a woman, she would have helped us out a little with a lot of these things. But she might also gifted us with temporary deafness while pregnant. It would certainly solve the bothersome issue of highly opinionated people that see a bump as justification to indoctrinate you. I'm not referring to the general advice and strange suggestions that find their way to you from all corners of the planet. Oh no, this deafness would be intended to help protect us from the apostles of the perfect child birth. The ones who believe in one way, one correct form of birth, outside of which you and your offspring are doomed to an unnatural life. A life cursed with poor health, depression, screwed up kids, a lack of hormone-induced motherly love and, most of all, the lifelong guilt of knowing that you chose this all by yourself.
I'm referring to the birth guilt squad, which broadly come in two polarised types - the medical ones and the natural ones. If you are pregnant or have been pregnant, you may have had the misfortune of having your head bashed in by them. They normally start with something quite disarming, like, 'It's an individual choice, but....' lulling you into thinking that you will be allowed respect for your individual choice. But in their soft tones, it slowly dawns on you that they are trying to convert you.
Those of the medical squad would have you believe that home birth will result in certain death, of either your or baby. And that only a dangerous fool would shun the white lab coats, scrubs and antiseptic hallways of hospital. Reading between the lines, they sound a bit like: 'Only a real child-hater could take their life into their own hands by turning down the miracle of modern medicine'.
Those of the natural persuasion aim to convert you to the idea that hospitals are bad for you, bad for baby. That medical interventions are meant to harm you and if you take advantage of them it means you don't trust your body. You will have sinned against nature and the wonderful gift of childbirth nature has given you. Consequently, you will suffer, your baby will suffer. You can sniff these types out once you have the experience. Just follow the stench of smugness.
Those of the medical squad would have you believe that home birth will result in certain death, of either your or baby. And that only a dangerous fool would shun the white lab coats, scrubs and antiseptic hallways of hospital. Reading between the lines, they sound a bit like: 'Only a real child-hater could take their life into their own hands by turning down the miracle of modern medicine'.
Those of the natural persuasion aim to convert you to the idea that hospitals are bad for you, bad for baby. That medical interventions are meant to harm you and if you take advantage of them it means you don't trust your body. You will have sinned against nature and the wonderful gift of childbirth nature has given you. Consequently, you will suffer, your baby will suffer. You can sniff these types out once you have the experience. Just follow the stench of smugness.
Birth is certainly a magical thing. Our bodies are designed to do this amazing thing, equipped with all the mechanics and instincts to bring brand-new people into the world. Doubtless, we as a species would have died out long ago if we were not capable of giving birth with nothing more than cold compress and the encouragement of a wise old woman or a grunting caveman husband. It is a frightening and painful experience, but one that we can trust our bodies to handle. These are the arguments of the natural-birth squad, and I must say that I agree that all this is true.
It gets twisted and nauseating when the implication becomes that those who choose some kind of medical intervention are somehow giving up faith in their bodies and abilities. Backed up with suspect statistics about going to hospital resulting in a higher rate of 'unnecessary' medical care, along with the assumption that modern medical procedures interrupt natural hormonal responses that encourage bonding between baby and mother, the guilt gets slapped on thick and fast. Somehow I doubt that our ancestors enjoyed idyllic births, un-tainted by the scourge of modern medicine.
What is the reality? According to the World Health Organisation, the reality is that 1500 women die everyday from childbirth or childbirth related complications, almost all preventable. Things like pre-eclampsia, heamorraging or obstructed labour. And even when the mother survives, the babies themselves can fare much worse. Click here to check out what the WHO says about maternal mortality The truth is that most women the world over have no choice but natural childbirth. And while modern medicine may cast a cynical eye on the natural abilities of a woman's body and steel will, unfortunately natural childbirth isn't the blissful, magical rite of being a woman that the natural-birth squad would have us believe. The reality is that until modern times, pregnancy and childbirth were dangerous times for women and infants alike.
It is a fact that people who go to hospital for birth end up with more medical interventions than those who give birth at home, but that statistic is not proof that the interventions were unnecessary. Even in the developed world, some statistics indicate that home birth, while carrying a decreased risk of intervention, do carry a significantly higher rate of neonatal mortality; about twice as high as hospital births. Additionally, around 40% of home births end up being transferred to hospital because of complications. Click to view article on Science-Based Medicine.
As for myself, prior to 12 weeks, I was prepared to give birth in my front room with nothing more than a stick of incense and some hypno-birthing mind tricks. Then we learned that we had stumbled upon the two-for-one special. Twins: a whole new ball game. The risks of death or injury in birth of twins is four times greater than a singleton pregnancy. I guess my response, my guilt, comes from wishing for a different birth. I want to keep things as natural as I can. But the goal is not to prove that I am a woman or that I trust my body. Right now, the goal is for all three of us to emerge from the experience alive. When I have said this to various birth nazis that have crossed my path, it has been taken as proof of my fear. Fear of the pain, of birth or of my own abilities. One such encounter saw me up against a fellow pregnant woman explaining to me that risks of twin birth were fictitious, hospital was bad but 'If hospital is your safe place, then you should go there'. As if being in your 'safe place' will prevent the multitude of risks that are common in birthing identical twins.
What I honestly feel is that it isn't that important where or how I give birth. This middle-ground attitude doesn't save me and I still fall foul of birth nazis on both sides. Not having a strong opinion on this highly contentious issue seems almost as bad as actively choosing to harm my unborn.
What I honestly feel is that it isn't that important where or how I give birth. This middle-ground attitude doesn't save me and I still fall foul of birth nazis on both sides. Not having a strong opinion on this highly contentious issue seems almost as bad as actively choosing to harm my unborn.
For me, the issue is not how or where a woman gives birth, but that she have every opportunity to go through this natural process with the greatest likelihood that both she and her baby survive. The medical proponents and the natural birth squad each have their emotionally laden arguments. But for the individual pregnant woman, this is a choice devoid of moral issues.
Until we evolve pregnancy-related deafness, the birth nazis will plague us, I suppose. I wish I had known about them sooner so I could develop a stock response, like an equally patronising pat on the head and a 'there-there, calm down, dear'. Ah well, as it is I must stick to my own mind, stay flexible and remember that no particular birth makes you a better person, parent or mother.
Until we evolve pregnancy-related deafness, the birth nazis will plague us, I suppose. I wish I had known about them sooner so I could develop a stock response, like an equally patronising pat on the head and a 'there-there, calm down, dear'. Ah well, as it is I must stick to my own mind, stay flexible and remember that no particular birth makes you a better person, parent or mother.
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